Praise and prayer request! First, my praise is that “the numbers” decreased from 2270 to 1785. That is 21% in the last two weeks with no IPT or as many therapies! The prayer request is a BIG one. Over the last week the ascites has returned and now is pretty severe (it was 1.3 L Wed but has worsened sense…). They ordered the ca125 due to the ascites, as they were concerned, and I was pleased to see the ca125 had improved, even though I have not been feeling the best! The ascites is just SO darn uncomfortable, it is a burning sensation in my abdomen, plus it feels like it could pop (I look like I am 4-6 months pregnant) and sharp pain in my ribs and sternum. I have a hard time eating and sleeping! There are many things are up in the air this week. I will likely have it drained again. The praise for having it drained is I can have the AARSOTA vaccine made again, which is the vaccine out of my own antigens. The new antigens would account for any mutations that have occurred (I am going to believe that is completely the Lord guiding those decisions if the ascites doesn’t go away on its own). These antigens are in 86-100% of cancer patients and only 7% of healthy donors. This is a therapeutic vaccine that is tailored to the specific tumor in the patient’s body. Once they inject it back into our body, my own antibodies recognize them and form an “antigen-antibody complex.” AARSOTA helps with upregulating the immune system’s T and B lymphocytes, increasing the cytotoxic effects of the natural killer cells, shifting the cell’s cycle and taking cancer cells out of the “cellular synthesis” phase, and bringing them into the “resting” phase so they stop their rapid turnover rate, and upregulating apoptosis or programmed cancer cell death. I am not sure what to ask for prayers… for it to go away or praise that we get more vaccines, this is all tricky. I had been feeling amazing, and now it has been frustrating to feel crappy again! Many things need to come together this week, as the plan was to fly home Friday until Oct 21st. Which brings me to another prayer request, that the Lord would make it CLEAR if I should be traveling home. In all of my heart, I want to come home so desperately. The paracentesis is a painful procedure, and way worse in America. Flying seems to aggravate the ascites. My concern is to fly home and then have it get worse when I am back there. I can stay here longer if that is what is best for my body, but it has been 2 months. I need a little break… to snuggle my grandson, see my family and friends, sleep in my bed. Basically, anything that seems “normal” would be a blessing.
Isaiah 41:13 For I hold you by your right hand- I, the Lord your God. And I say to you, don’t be afraid. I am here to help you. Jeremiah 30:17a “I will give you back your health and heal your wounds,” says the Lord. James 1:5 If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. I was supposed to go home on Sept. 29th, so the thought of having to postpone again gets to me, you know! I am trying to stay so positive and know there is a reason for ALL things. I am really grateful for all of the doctors, nursing staff, patients, their companions, my family that keeps taking time to come down here. I really like the area and have found great restaurants and coffee shops. People have this idea of Tijuana, and it is not true. Now, there are areas, but that is every city! Look at Minneapolis now:) I walk many places and have never felt unsafe. Regardless, I am still lonesome for HOME!
John 10:10 The thief’s purpose is to steal, kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life. THAT is where I will keep my focus. God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Tim 1:7
Matt flew home Sunday and Kenzee came in that evening. It was sweet to see her! Kenzee has been taking care of the house, garden, dog, cleaning, errands, groceries, working, and keeping her brother on task! Also, making salsa, pasta sauce, and pesto from the garden. All of the things. She is amazing! It was such a blessing to see her and have her here with me. I am just bummed that I have been off this week, pain, discomfort, unable to walk as much, tired, crabby, etc. Ugg. NOT what I pictured for our time, so please pray that this week will be better! Kenzee loves coffee, so we have a rule that we can’t go back to the same coffee shop twice! We also had a pedicure on Monday, a special treat. The past week was a busy week with the usual therapies and many IV’s. IPT on Wednesday and Heckel on Thursday. My temp went up to 104.4 this week in Heckel (remember that cancer cells die over 102!). The IVs seem to be settling in the belly! I did a new IV called DMSO, but it made me smelly for 48 hours, poor Kenzee! We will skip that one for a bit. I thought I smelled great! What does that look like for this week, I have no idea. But I do not want to be adding fluid to the problem area. It is hard when it’s the weekend and we will get more answers Monday! I don’t want to force anything and really just follow the Lord’s will for this time.
Isaiah 58:8 TPT Then my favor will bathe you in sunlight until you are like the dawn bursting through a dark night. And then suddenly your healing will manifest. You will see your righteousness march out before you, and the glory of YAHWEH will protect you from all harm!
There are so many things happening each day, with decisions to make. Please pray for the Lord’s complete peace and guidance when I can’t make sense of it all, and that’s ok. I don’t want to look days or weeks or months ahead. Living fully in these moments that He has for me, so I don’t miss one thing He has planned. Also, that HIS light will shine through me to give others hope. Hope in the only thing we KNOW is real and not going to change, Jesus. He wants to know you too; it is as simple as giving Him your heart. Thank you for ALL of the love, prayers and encouragement. It is making this tough journey easier, knowing how loved I am!