Waiting…and more waiting. Psalms 27:14 Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord. Proverbs 16:9 We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps. I am a planner. Always have been. I am in this season of life where NOTHING can be planned. I have been feeling great since the 105.1 fever escapade! I did a round of antibiotics which ended Tuesday, and they rechecked my blood on Wednesday. They are testing procalcitonin for infection. Last week that number was 20! It is supposed to be .05-.5. This indicates a severe systemic infection. They had tested the central line and additional blood for bacteria, which came back clear. Confusing right! This week they rechecked, and that number had decreased to 0.517, yes, 0.017 above normal. The chemo doctor decided I should go back on antibiotics for ANOTHER week, and maybe even another 3-4 days once this is completed. It was FRUSTRATING to say the least. I want to meet our grandson, desperately. Tears well up as I type this. So, no IPT chemo again this week. As much as I am trying to wait patiently, be brave, let the Lord lead my steps – I am still human and have desires. My desire is to hold Elijah and give him 1000 kisses! I wait, trusting that I am here for a reason I cannot see or understand fully. I know God is using my journey to grow me in. I have said from the beginning that the Lord is turning this Martha into a Mary. If you don’t know the story, read Luke 10:38-42! I want to be the one sitting at Jesus feet, but often times I am the one running around worried over dumb things and making sure everyone else is ok! At this point in my journey, I throw up my hands and know that while things may shake me for a moment, I don’t stay in that place. I cry, but then turn my eyes back to the Lord knowing He is working all things out and the picture is SO much bigger than myself. We have met a dear friend Kiersten and her 19-year-old son Christopher. He is leaving tomorrow and so she will be here alone for the next week and a half. We went out for dinner with them last night and I know he feels better that we are here to help care for his mom if she needs anything. Maybe that is the why?! Matt goes home Sunday and Kenzee is coming down for the next few weeks. The doctor had recommended 6 ITP treatments, IN A ROW! So… I am not sure exactly what that looks like now. The “plan” was to do those treatments and then fly home Sunday for 1 week and a half. Now, I will have the blood done again on Tuesday and if all is well, I will be able to do ITP Wednesday and hopefully Tuesday the next week to fly home October 11th for a bit. Now…that the treatments were not in a row that possibly changes things, if the doctor does not want me to take another break. Originally, he wanted me to return and do an additional 6 treatments. I will know more after they draw my blood and also recheck the ca-125. BIG prayer request is that the number is continuing to decrease even without the IPT, since my body kicked butt with a high fever, and I have continued doing the many supplements and a few IVs as we wait! Also, that the procalcitonin is down to 0.05, Amen! God continues to grow me in ways that are so good, and so annoying, ha-ha! Back to the waiting. I have learned to literally just look at today, seeking the Lord on how He wants to use me here…today. Matthew 6:27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? I think we KNOW the answer to that but living it out is a little different. When everything that we have held onto is taken away, it makes you realize WHAT is important. Unless you have been down a path, you don’t know. We can have ideas, but not deeply know and understand. Once we have gained that wisdom, it makes you look at each person through the eyes of Christ. Love and grace. So, I cling to this verse he gave me early on. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in ALL our troubles SO THAT we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. AMEN!!

This week I have decided to do a few IVs as we wait. Wednesday was curcumin IV, Thursday B17 and Friday 50g of Vit C and electrolytes. I have also continued all of those “normal” therapies. I have talked previously about the Avastin IV which is $1250 for an hour IV, crazy expensive. We have been wondering if we should continue this due to the cost. Dr. Munoz said they have had good results without it as well. UGG, the non-answer answers! Matt’s idea was to just skip it the next 2 weeks and see how the numbers do. I think that is a great idea and we will make that decision once we get the ca-125 numbers back on Tuesday. I can do many IV’s for the cost of that one and the other IVs are more natural substances and not a drug. Another prayer request- that the Lord will make it clear what we are to do with the Avastin! I have also been researching DMSO (dimethyl sulfoxide) and we are going to add that to the Selenium IV next week. Selenium detoxes the body after chemo. The DMSO you can take in an IV and you can use topically. I will be adding that to my daily regimens! This is an odorless, clear solvent that has been in thousands of studies. It demonstrates potent anti-inflammatory and analgesic properties, prevents oxidative stress, relieves painful musculoskeletal, interstitial cystitis and urinary conditions. DMSO also fights Alzheimer’s disease and cancer! It is not accepted by the FDA and pharmaceutical industry, likely because it is cheap, and they can’t make money on it. I will mix this liquid with a 1:1 ratio of distilled water and DMSO. This will be applied to my abdominal area one to two times a day. I don’t like to complain, but one of my continued symptoms is discomfort in my stomach, the ascites is improved but I continue to have gas pain (not in a normal way!) and I feel like it has worsened now because of these antibiotics. So, Kenzee is bringing it to me tomorrow and I am looking forward to seeing if it helps some of those symptoms!

Today, is Matt’s last full day here! So, we will have a fun day that will likely include a cute coffee shop and going out to my favorite restaurant Cruce. Matt and I are not good at taking pictures! But I have sweet ones of Elijah. Also, I got my haircut on Monday. It was glorious! In the past, I do not like taking time for those things, but I enjoyed every moment of it! She did such a great job with every detail and spoke English. Also, I have seen several pay phones, I love Mexico! They just crack me up for some reason:) I will continue to walk by faith and not by sight. Thank you for ALL of the love and prayers!